You know those moments when memories of past times and friends left behind pop into your head without warning of any kind? I have just experienced one of those moments. Most of the memories I have are indeed happy ones… and yet, they make me sad. Memories are like Romantic Movies. They either make you Sigh and Smile over the fond remembrance of such times, or they make you Cry over the lack of these wondrous happenings. I am always given to the later response. And in the same way, memories of "Good Times" make me sad… for the lack of being able to recreate said memories any time I choose.


Such memories as walking for a good two hours in the pouring rain with Belen. The soul purpose of the walk being the art of photography. Good Images of this time are frozen forever on a roll of negatives. But Belen isn't going to show up at my door with her 35mm in her hand exclaiming, "Come my fellow time traveler! Let us preserve history!"


There was a time when April would lay beside me in bed and ask, "Wanna hear a story?" My answer would undoubtedly be, "No…" To which she would inquire, "How about now?" I would only smile, and she would begin to read me one of the many Fairy Tales she so adores. She gave me her book of Alice In Wonderland and Peter Pan on the last day we were to see each other. I can pull it out to look at it's worn pages… but it just isn't the same without April's exaggerated character voices to guide the story through.


I actually remember the first friends I ever had.

Deavon, who used to wait at the concrete wall across the street from my house every morning so we could walk to school. Now those days are gone, I'm through with school. Life has started… There is no one waiting outside my door to walk me through it.

Hanna, who found out our mothers were best friends before we were even born. Our fascination with this fact fueled our friendship, and the link bus gave us many wonderful downtown memories to share. (My therapists office shared the same building as her mother's toy shop. Strange, no?) I don't ride the link bus anymore… and even if I did, I no longer have anyone to ride with me.

Breanna, who was my constant partner in crime throughout our grade school years. If we weren't stealing crayons and makeup from the local Drug Store, we were making plans to run away and join a Satanist Occult Group… Strangely we took our own paths in the same direction for years. Our connection is eternal.

LaTika, who was the first person I knew to have "Same-Sex" interests beside myself. I went through that awkward phase with her by my side all the way. We were always the last ones around the running track, but always the first ones to bash someones teeth infor rude, crass, and sometimes true comments.

Time has gone by… these friends I've left behind. Their memories haunt me now as I sit here alone. Some I might see soon, others… maybe only on Myspace. Now I have only the option to move forward, and create new memories with friends new and yet unknown. In the end, Sadness turns to excitement. Tears turn to Smiles. As I glance at my past, and walk towards my future… I can expect the present to ever be an adventure.


~*Tabitha*~